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"the strict rules of your order" [VALL]


We all know that Mycroft was a member of the Diogenes Club. Watson is exposed to it in "The Greek Interpreter."

"The Diogenes Club is the queerest club in London, and Mycroft, one of the queerest men. He's always there from a quarter to five till twenty to eight. It's six now, so if you care for a stroll this beautiful evening I shall be very happy to introduce you to two curiosities."

"I cannot recall the name."

"Very likely not. There are many men in London, you know, who, some from shyness, some from misanthropy, have no wish for the company of their fellows. Yet they are not averse to comfortable chairs and the latest periodicals. It is for the convenience of these that the Diogenes Club was started, and it now contains the most unsociable and unclubbable men in town. No member is permitted to take the least notice of any other one. Save in the Strangers' Room, no talking is, under any circumstances, permitted, and three offences, if brought to the notice of the committee, render the talker liable to expulsion. My brother was one of the founders, and I have myself found it a very soothing atmosphere."
As you can see, the institution has some fairly strict guidelines. When we stopped to think about it one day, it seemed reminiscent of the rules laid out in the movie Fight Club. We then set out to write up the official rules of the Diogenes Club, in accordance with Fight Club.

1st RULE: You do not talk in the Diogenes Club.

2nd RULE: You DO NOT talk in the Diogenes Club.

3rd RULE: If someone speaks outside of the Strangers' Room, three times, he will be expelled.

4th RULE: Only one guy to a nook.

5th RULE: One paper at a time.

6th RULE: Shirts and shoes.

7th RULE: Unclubbability will go on as long as it has to.

8th RULE: If this is your first night at the Diogenes Club, you have to be unclubbable.

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